Short Thought 037

It’s nice to walk into a place after a 2/3 year absence and not only be remembered but also be greeted with hugs, affection and a genuine concern that something untoward may have happened to you in the intervening years.

It’s the complete polar opposite of having the bouncers of a shitty bar in the Eastern suburbs vaguely remember that someone who kinda looks like you, but with longer hair and a worse attitude, was forcibly removed from their premises 4 years ago after a heated debate with bar staff regarding the pros/cons of their discretionary “cut off” policy.

Ubud, Bali > Dandenong, Australia. Who knew?

Also, let’s hear it for run on sentences!

Short Thought 036

For the last few days I have spent a vast majority of my time slowly sipping from a bottle of beer at a swim up bar in the tropical paradise that is Bali.

Tough gig I know.

It’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it.

As I’m sitting here people watching, as is my way, it slowly dawns on me that a great many of my fellow beer sipping compatriots have been sipping beer at this swim up bar for a great many hours.

All without ever leaving the pool.

This leads to a most interesting implication.

How many litres of this crystal clear water is actually liver distilled, beer infused urine?

Probably best not to think about it…

The One Where Travis Crushes A Little Girl’s Spirit.

This afternoon I found myself on a train. With other people. Which sucks. As previously established, I’m not very good at trains.

Sitting directly behind me was a mother, who I’m sure was a teenager in the 90’s, and her three children. The eldest, a girl that couldn’t have been more than ten or eleven, kept singing a single line from Aqua’s Cartoon Heroes. Over and over again. Very loudly.

Continue reading “The One Where Travis Crushes A Little Girl’s Spirit.”

The Twisted Ballad of Little Satan and The Jerk Queen.

Part I – Trouble In Paradise.

So I’m in Bali sitting in my usual favourite café/bar/warung enjoying a deliciously inexpensive meal and a quietly cold beer. After a big morning of riding around aimlessly on my bike and soaking in the human potpourri that is Bali I had built up an appetite for relaxation. I’ve given my order to the dependably perky waitress and eagerly await the forthcoming taste sensation.


Continue reading “The Twisted Ballad of Little Satan and The Jerk Queen.”

From Russia With Love.

I have never paid for sex. Well, not in the traditional way of exchanging money for goods or services. I have, however, paid through other less direct means. Dinners, holidays, clothing, jewellery, heartache, angst, slashed tyres…

For those keeping score at home; I don’t think that there is anything wrong with exchanging money for sex. A business transaction that happens between two, or more, consenting adults is strictly their business and by no means grounds to judge.

That said; it’s not something that I myself would do. My rationale being: why pay money to remove the pleasure of mutually thrilling exploratory conversation? I like conversation. Conversation with a girl you find physically and mentally stimulating is the greatest invention of all time.

Continue reading “From Russia With Love.”