My brain hurts.
My brain hurts.
This afternoon, while frequenting one of the many bars I frequent, I overheard the following statement uttered by a super trendy young woman playing pool with her noticeably less trendy friend.
“There were some real assholes in Footscray last night.”
Yes. I imagine there was. It is Footscray after all. I mean, it’s not Dandenong, or Frankston, but still…
I once saw a man randomly dive onto the bonnet of a car stopped in traffic and vomit onto the windshield in Footscray. At 11:00am no less.
Good phở though.
Ed Sheehan is in my general proximity. And the only reaction that inspires is…
That video he did with the cat was kinda cool, also he completely ruined that one episode of Game of Thrones.
And I take that shit seriously.
What Snapchat thing? This Snapchat thing…
Believe it or not, a reasonable number of peeps actually joined the Only I Stand Here Snapchat account that I created back here.
I can assure you, fair readers, that I’m as shocked as you are.
To these brave souls I say, god bless your cotton socks. You are truly the intrepid pioneers among us and are deserving of all the awe and admiration that such an undertaking warrants.
Finally! After musing about it forever, and procrastinating about it for even longer, Only I Stand Here is now on Snapchat.
Firstly, I have zero idea how this is going to integrate into Only I Stand Here proper. Or how to manage it at all really. So I’m already off to a brilliant start.
Secondly, I also have zero idea if anyone currently reading my nonsense has any inclination to tap into my ongoing misadventures in a real time environment. I’m an acquired taste, I get that. Having me accessible in the palm of your hand at all times may be a bit much. Fair call really.
Thirdly, following The Year of the Chronically Offended that was 2017, it’s now 2018. The Year Reason Died. There’s every single chance that without the benefit of drafts, review, thoughtful contemplation, or any kind of filtering process, I will offend/alienate the few readers I already have. Apologies in advance.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I’m totally intrigued to see what kind of Snaps I get from the masses.
Dick pics I assume. Always dick pics.
So if you’re into endless non sequiturs, impotent raging against the machine, mass confusion regarding societal norms and the occasional thoughtful prose, all while drinking too much, touch the screen and join the fray!
It’s nice to walk into a place after a 2/3 year absence and not only be remembered but also be greeted with hugs, affection and a genuine concern that something untoward may have happened to you in the intervening years.
It’s the complete polar opposite of having the bouncers of a shitty bar in the Eastern suburbs vaguely remember that someone who kinda looks like you, but with longer hair and a worse attitude, was forcibly removed from their premises 4 years ago after a heated debate with bar staff regarding the pros/cons of their discretionary “cut off” policy.
Ubud, Bali > Dandenong, Australia. Who knew?
Also, let’s hear it for run on sentences!
For the last few days I have spent a vast majority of my time slowly sipping from a bottle of beer at a swim up bar in the tropical paradise that is Bali.
Tough gig I know.
As I’m sitting here people watching, as is my way, it slowly dawns on me that a great many of my fellow beer sipping compatriots have been sipping beer at this swim up bar for a great many hours.
All without ever leaving the pool.
This leads to a most interesting implication.
How many litres of this crystal clear water is actually liver distilled, beer infused urine?
Probably best not to think about it…
There is a currently a woman of indeterminate age sitting on a handmade wooden lounge by a pool in Kuta, Bali.
She transposes her constant cigarette smoking with extended bouts of excessive coughing.
I wonder if she’s made the connection…