Short Thought 060

Take a look at trolleys/shopping carts in the foreground, then look at what is in the background not 15 feet away.

Humanity is Doomed
Sigh.

I… uh, I can’t even.

I see something like this and yet I’m still somehow surprised when people can’t grasp heavier, more abstract concepts. You know, like indicating when changing lanes.

Baby steps.

Barwatch – Episode 001

As long time readers will know, I often find myself in bars.

Here in my bar, I feel drunkest of all
Here in my bar, I feel safest of all, I can drink all the beers, It’s the only way to live, In bars

Bars/pubs/saloons/taverns/inns, call them what you will. Sitting in a comfortable bar watching the world go by while nursing a beer, or bourbon as the case may be, is my idea of bliss.

I’m also an avid watcher of people.

Often these two worlds collide and I find myself inventing little backstories for my fellow patrons.  This is that.
_______
Real people. Imaginary conversations. These are their stories.

Continue reading “Barwatch – Episode 001”

Short Thought 029

So I was sitting at a bar, minding my own business, when suddenly a random guy appeared out of nowhere and took the seat immediately to my right. Which I found somewhat peculiar because I was sitting alone in a booth.

booths are not for strangers
Awkwardness level: 100%

He was completely unremarkable in every way and, as I was completely immersed in my drinking/writing, I paid him no mind.

At least I tried to.

Continue reading “Short Thought 029”

Short Thought 026

The group of late 20-something women sitting three tables over from me are drowning out the conversation I’m trying to have and the music the venue is playing with their autistic screeching about the Kardashians.

Kardashians. Autistic screeching.

I’m thinking there may be a correlation.

The End of the Affair.

It’s 3:00pm on a Saturday afternoon and I find myself sharing a bar with a group of people celebrating their Primary School reunion.  Which is apparently a thing people do. They all appear to be in their late 40’s/early 50’s and they’re all completely wrecked. Endless waves of Sambuca shots chased by pints of beer will do that to a person.

Because I’m totes sneaky and am always on the lookout for prime blog fodder I accidentally overhear the following quotes which, without the context of 40 years plus of shared experience, all sound somewhat deranged.

Continue reading “The End of the Affair.”

That’s Alright Mama.

My Ma recently texted me because her fridge wasn’t doing cold very well. Which is kinda the main point of fridges. I advised her “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

She stated “No. It’s not a computer. Fridges are all automatic now.”

I responded “Hmm. Are they though? Because yours is only two years old and it isn’t working. Try turning it off and on again.”

My Ma’s response “I don’t want to break it, I might call someone to fix it.”

“Don’t do that, I’ll be up in two days time. I’ll have a look at it.”

Unless it’s on fire, I have zero idea how to tell the difference between a fridge that’s working and one that isn’t. Nonetheless…

Continue reading “That’s Alright Mama.”