This afternoon, while frequenting one of the many bars I frequent, I overheard the following statement uttered by a super trendy young woman playing pool with her noticeably less trendy friend.
There were some real assholes in Footscray last night.”
Yes. I imagine there was. It is Footscray after all. I mean, it’s not Dandenong, or Frankston, but still…
I once saw a man randomly dive onto the bonnet of a car stopped in traffic and vomit onto the windshield in Footscray. At 11:00am on a Tuesday no less.
For the last few days I have spent a vast majority of my time slowly sipping from a bottle of beer at a swim up bar in the tropical paradise that is Bali.
Tough gig I know.
It’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it.
As I’m sitting here people watching, as is my way, it slowly dawns on me that a great many of my fellow beer sipping compatriots have been sipping beer at this swim up bar for a great many hours.
All without ever leaving the pool.
This leads to a most interesting implication.
How many litres of this crystal clear water is actually liver distilled, beer infused urine?
Probably best not to think about it…
Today, after being approached by a stranger in the beer garden of a random bar…
You look like Jesus.”
Is it the aviators?”
Every time I go to the bathroom in one of my favourite local bars I look up at the plaster repair job above the urinal and can’t help but feel I’m being watched.
Go home Teddy Bear, I’m drunk.
So I was sitting at a bar, minding my own business, when suddenly a random guy appeared out of nowhere and took the seat immediately to my right. Which I found somewhat peculiar because I was sitting alone in a booth.
Awkwardness level: 100%
He was completely unremarkable in every way and, as I was completely immersed in my drinking/writing, I paid him no mind.
At least I tried to.
Continue reading “Short Thought 029”
Call me paranoid but I think my tablet just overheard my last order…
The correct answer is:
1 & 3/4 Australian pints.
1.76 UK pints.
2.11338 US liquid pints.
1.75975 Imperial pints.
Bonus question: How many pints in my bloodstream?
6. The answer is 6.