Hey Australia, Same Sex Marriage Will Not Destroy Us All.

I’ve touched on the ridiculousness of anti-LGBTIQ sentiment before and with the Same Sex Marriage debate reaching fever pitch in Australia I’m touching on it again.

I’m not going to preach or pontificate, or at the very least I’ll try to keep all preachiness and pontifications to a minimum. I simply thought that maybe an every-mans view of the issue may be more tolerable to some than the endless opinions of the pseudo-intellectuals, politicians and religious zealots.

I may, however, swear and cast aspersions.

Before I begin I also want to say; being a guy that is into chicks I straight up acknowledge that there are many people out there far more knowledgeable on the subject than I am. You know, people that have actual experience being in same sex relationships and are therefore far more qualified to comment on how marital prejudice personally affects them and their relationships.

So.

Continue reading “Hey Australia, Same Sex Marriage Will Not Destroy Us All.”

Short Thought 021

Kermit Is Kill
Forgive the unforgivable vertical orientation. I was drunk.

I’ve been toying with the idea of starting an Only I Stand Here SnapchatTM account.

The pressure to deliver consistent and hilarious content would eventually end up driving me insane but imagine a world where you guys have access to the alcohol fueled Only I Stand Here brand of detached observational humour and legitimate societal confusion in real time!

Sounds awesome right?

Now also imagine spammy updates regarding my sporadic site posts and relentless SnapsTM of my cat!

Holy shit, *do I know what peeps want! Or do I know what peeps want?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*I have no idea what people want.

Short Thought 020

Xenophobia Is Stupid
Oh the irony. The thoroughly fucking xenophobic irony.

I don’t even.

How did both the manufacturer and the purchaser miss the glaringly obvious grammatical error? Hate clouds intellect I guess.

Still, if you’re gonna openly celebrate your xenophobia and racism you should really make sure your spelling is on point. Lest you look like a huge fucking asshole.

Short Thought 018

Last night while bar hopping into the wee hours of the morning I saw a homeless man with a clothes horse. Or a drying airer. Or clothes airer. Whatever you happen call one of these things where you live…

So Much Suck
“We need to invent something that has the potential to dry clothes but is also an unwieldy mess that collapses at the slightest touch.” – Engineers.

Among the many thoughts that raced through my mind, the loudest and shoutiest was…

Man, if I were to suddenly become homeless maintaining possession of a clothes horse would not be high on my list of priorities. One of the small joys I would take out of the soul crushing situation would be that I could throw my clothes horse into a fucking river. I hate those things.

The End of the Affair.

It’s 3:00pm on a Saturday afternoon and I find myself sharing a bar with a group of people celebrating their Primary School reunion.  Which is apparently a thing people do. They all appear to be in their late 40’s/early 50’s and they’re all completely wrecked. Endless waves of Sambuca shots chased by pints of beer will do that to a person.

Because I’m totes sneaky and am always on the lookout for prime blog fodder I accidentally overhear the following quotes which, without the context of 40 years plus of shared experience, all sound somewhat deranged.

Continue reading “The End of the Affair.”

Short Thought 017

TheGrimFandango
You know there’s a very good reason the chain has been deemed necessary.

Christ. What a grim indictment on our society that the charity tin sitting on the bar needs to be chained and padlocked to the goddamn beer taps.

Or, from a slightly more abstract viewpoint, perhaps this image exemplifies how our collective hope is intrinsically tethered to beer?

Witch Witch is Witch.

For all of those that haven’t been paying attention, I’m a counsellor and I work at a High School. Recently I was called into a classroom by an English teacher to help deescalate a student from going full ham. Which I was able to do because I’m awesome at my job and speak the language of the voiceless and disenfranchised.

I asked if I could stay in the room, telling the teacher and students I wanted to avoid doing paperwork, but secretly wanting to monitor the student/situation lest shit escalate again. I also wanted to avoid doing paperwork.

Continue reading “Witch Witch is Witch.”