Why Can’t We Be Friends?

Could you be any more of a Chandler!?
Could you be any more of a Chandler!?

Oh Facebook! Your ability to create awkward social situations and turn perfectly normal human beings into needy beasts of angst is nothing short of amazing and total!

Recently I was asked by a semi-close acquaintance, via a Facebook message of course, why I had unfriended her. After overcoming mild annoyance at needing to provide a reason for my decision, to someone I’d just unfriended no less, I wrote the following response.

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Things That Suck: Days.

I’d like to begin by clarifying that I don’t think the intervals of light between two successive nights suck. I’m a huge fan of the 24 hours that represent the average length of time during which the earth makes one rotation on its axis. Those days are rad. Full of wonder, adventure, excitement, and television.

It’s those other days. Awareness days you could call them. I’m sure you know the ones. The days where an organisation, usually a charity, commandeers 24 hours of public time to shill their chosen cause.

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Things That Suck: The Pinnacle Of Unneccessarily Annoying Vehicular Technology.

Over the past 30 years there have been substantial improvements in vehicular design that have significantly improved the comfort and safety of the motoring experience for the better.

Satellite navigation has finally put an end to the horrible cliché of men getting lost and not wanting to ask for directions. Reverse cameras have made “accidentally” backing over Little Jimmy’s toys in the driveway a less viable lie. Kids no longer need to tire themselves out by developing their own imaginations to pass away countless hours of back seat travel; they can watch someone else’s imagination at work via Woody and Buzz in the back of Mum and Dad’s headrests.

And cup holders are a great way to hold a beverage while driving.

Mankind’s greatest accomplishment.
Mankind’s greatest accomplishment.

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Things That Suck: CD Cases.

If ever there was a case that truly justified the overused expression “We can put a man on the moon but we can’t… whatever, this is it.

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t make CD cases that don’t self destruct on contact.

They’re not highly confidential messages from Chief Quimby to Inspector Gadget goddamn it.
They’re not highly confidential messages from Chief Quimby to Inspector Gadget goddamn it.

Since their inception in 198- CD cases have been ass. I’m talking specifically about the “jewel case” which is by far the most common and if you own any CDs at all chances are 98% of them have this design.

Bizarrely, despite their numerous and obvious flaws, there has never been any significant advances in CD case technology. The cases that were first mass produced in the early 80’s are exactly the same as the ones we still use today.

It’s insane.

Continue reading “Things That Suck: CD Cases.”