Eat Pray Move

Amid the chaos of Bali’s roads – between the vast swarms of motorbikes, the ownerless dogs lingering on the roads fringe, the incomprehensible signage, the oft confusion of an anarchic system, the less than stellar condition of the roads themselves…

There comes a new menace. Breeding in numbers even as we speak…

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I Believe The Children Are Our Future.

Here I am sitting in a quiet, rustic Balinese warung for the past hour or so, enjoying a few cheap beers and attempting to write something meaningful or funny; both would be fantastic. And surprising.

Still, my ego is pacified when the waiter says he likes my look, my hair in particular. I understand it’s a pretty severe personality flaw to like/want completely random people’s adulation but spelunking that particular dank cave is a tale for another time.
I suggest to this spritely young chap that he too could have his hair cut into a Mohawk. I continue to ramble on that I had it cut not 500 metres from this very establishment, in a salon owned by a transgendered individual. I claim that she was one of the nicest men I’d ever met.

Goodbye meaningful. Goodbye funny. I mentioned the cheap beers right?

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Baby Did A Bad, Bad Thing.

It was Christmas Eve and I was catching a late flight home after visiting my older brother in the less than mythical city of Brisbane, Australia. The plane had been delayed an hour, an hour I decided to fill by drinking beer in the lounge. Then the plane was delayed again, for another hour. Fine by me I thought, I’ll drink some more beer.

By this time a majority of my fellow passengers were beginning to become frustrated at the plane and its ongoing tardiness but I was having a great time, talking nonsense to the other passengers while making up little back stories about them in my mind…

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She + Her

She+Her
These 2 forces, She + Her, are entirely symbolic of my own internal struggle.

Her; My doubts, insecurities, my rage/frustrations, my impotence, my complete submissive willingness to change/forgo everything I am just to please.
My belief that Her knows what is right in the world and, because of my past transgressions, I should follow Her blindly. Without question; lest I become a bastard again…
Her makes me feel wracked with thought. Must think.
Must think! Don’t react!

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365 days ago…

To commemorate today’s date I thought I’d share this most personal piece of prose with my invisible audience.
This is an excerpt from a diary I was keeping for a brief period last year. Absolutely no changes have been made to the original text so it gives you a true insight into how I was feeling at this time exactly one year ago. So full of heartbreak and angst I was!

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“Zee stripe! It is gone! She is not a skunk at all!”

I have always enjoyed when, through a wacky chain of events, the female cat (retroactively name Penelope apparently) would invert the usual scenario of Pepé Le Pew aggressively/lustfully pursuing her and end up aggressively/lustfully pursuing Pepé instead.

1940’s cartoons. Date rape has never been as acceptable. Or wholesome.