Short Thought 024


Coming soon to Only I Stand Here: The Ultimate Vinyl Collection Storage System Unit (patent pending).

A Thing!
Dynamic! Practical! Engineered to last! Not a milk crate!

These state of the art, individually manufactured units are perfect for the modern vinyl collector/hipster.

Each high quality unit features the following features:

  • Stylish vintage retro design.
  • Highly durable.
  • Integrated carry handles.
  • Technologically advanced polymer finish.

These sturdy, retro look, fully functional vinyl storage units come in a variety of colours and are completely stackable*.

We here at Only I Stand Here are pleased to offer you a fully repurposed BRAND NEW** The Ultimate Vinyl Collection Storage System Unit for the low, low price of $78.43 per unit. Plus postage and handling.

Why put a price on peace of mind?

Order now!***





*Units only stackable when empty.
**Units may actually be stolen from the bar/restaurant behind my apartment building.
***Can you tell I’ve become sarcastic and disillusioned while hunting for practical, reasonably priced, no nonsense vinyl storage? 

Hey Australia, Same Sex Marriage Will Not Destroy Us All.

I’ve touched on the ridiculousness of anti-LGBTIQ sentiment before and with the Same Sex Marriage debate reaching fever pitch in Australia I’m touching on it again.

I’m not going to preach or pontificate, or at the very least I’ll try to keep all preachiness and pontifications to a minimum. I simply thought that maybe an every-mans view of the issue may be more tolerable to some than the endless opinions of the pseudo-intellectuals, politicians and religious zealots.

I may, however, swear and cast aspersions.

Before I begin I also want to say; being a guy that is into chicks I straight up acknowledge that there are many people out there far more knowledgeable on the subject than I am. You know, people that have actual experience being in same sex relationships and are therefore far more qualified to comment on how marital prejudice personally affects them and their relationships.


Continue reading “Hey Australia, Same Sex Marriage Will Not Destroy Us All.”

Short Thought 021

Kermit Is Kill
Forgive the unforgivable vertical orientation. I was drunk.

I’ve been toying with the idea of starting an Only I Stand Here SnapchatTM account.

The pressure to deliver consistent and hilarious content would eventually end up driving me insane but imagine a world where you guys have access to the alcohol fueled Only I Stand Here brand of detached observational humour and legitimate societal confusion in real time!

Sounds awesome right?

Now also imagine spammy updates regarding my sporadic site posts and relentless SnapsTM of my cat!

Holy shit, *do I know what peeps want! Or do I know what peeps want?!









*I have no idea what people want.

Short Thought 020

Xenophobia Is Stupid
Oh the irony. The thoroughly fucking xenophobic irony.

I don’t even.

How did both the manufacturer and the purchaser miss the glaringly obvious grammatical error? Hate clouds intellect I guess.

Still, if you’re gonna openly celebrate your xenophobia and racism you should really make sure your spelling is on point. Lest you look like a huge fucking asshole.

Motivate This! – Entry #007

Like Arson
Coming soon to a local gym facebook post near you!

While this isn’t necessarily an untrue statement, it’s definitely not the kind of affirmation/motivation you hand out to just anybody.

“What’s that you say bouncer man? Hands off the dancers? Pfft. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do!” Ten minutes and three cracked ribs later…

“Pull over and put my hands where you can see them? No way Po-Po! Driving 70 kph over the speed limit is awesome because the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do!”
One high speed police chase and sixteen charges later…

“I know arson is frowned upon but I hate my neighbour so much and, as they say, the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do!”
Seven fire engines and fifteen to twenty years later…

“Society tells me it’s wrong to bathe in the blood of virginal panda cubs then curb stomp puppies while dancing naked through a kindergarten, but one of my highly suggestible friends on facebook reposted a picture that said the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do!”

And so on, and so on…

Obviously this affirmation should be given out only after a rigorous psychological evaluation. I mean, we have an entire judicial system in place specifically because people do what people say they cannot do.

And honestly, if your happiness is derived solely from doing what other people have told you you can’t do, you may have a problem.