Things That Suck: The Snooze Button.

I don’t use the snooze button. Never have, never will. I set my alarm to go off at the last possible minute to try and choke all the potential sleep out of the nights lungs.

Sleep is rad.

SadButTrue
Me too Ralph, me too.

The snooze button. Whether it’s on your phone, alarm clock or whatever. I just don’t get it. At its absolute base level –  hitting the snooze button means that you’ve set your alarm to go off before you need it to go off. Before you need to get out of bed.

What kind of lunacy is that?

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Things That Suck: Dish Towels/Tea Towels.

Dish towels. Or tea towels if you live somewhere a little more colonial. Pretty innocuous right? Usually found hanging from the oven handle in kitchens all over the world. Perfect for drying dishes and wiping up spills. Potentially the understated MVP of the kitchen.

BetterThanGiada
Dish towels. Tea towels. Kitchen towels. Kitchen cloths. Dish towels. Keyser Söze. They go by many names.

Or are they callous betrayers and the spawn of the goddamn devil?

Continue reading “Things That Suck: Dish Towels/Tea Towels.”

Things That Suck: Long Goodbyes.

Ah, the long goodbye. Essentially any time one person is forced to interact with another person this bizarre exercise in human interaction can happen. It’s probably happened to you. And it’s the dirt worst.

Imagine. Or recall. You’re at a party, family gathering, meeting, wedding, funeral, work function, bris, intervention, or something as low key as a few quiet beers with a friend… At some point you will invariably decide that the event or whatever is over, you’ve had enough, and you’re going to leave.

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Things That Suck: Forrest Gump.

I just re-watched Forrest Gump.

poorpoorLieutenantDan
I understand your pain Lieutenant Dan.

When I was younger I loved this movie. Good music. Memorable catchphrases. And it touches on all of the most historically memorable moments of the last half of the 20th century.

It’s basically baby-boomer porn.

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Things That Suck: Days.

I’d like to begin by clarifying that I don’t think the intervals of light between two successive nights suck. I’m a huge fan of the 24 hours that represent the average length of time during which the earth makes one rotation on its axis. Those days are rad. Full of wonder, adventure, excitement, and television.

It’s those other days. Awareness days you could call them. I’m sure you know the ones. The days where an organisation, usually a charity, commandeers 24 hours of public time to shill their chosen cause.

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Things That Suck: The Pinnacle Of Unneccessarily Annoying Vehicular Technology.

Over the past 30 years there have been substantial improvements in vehicular design that have significantly improved the comfort and safety of the motoring experience for the better.

Satellite navigation has finally put an end to the horrible cliché of men getting lost and not wanting to ask for directions. Reverse cameras have made “accidentally” backing over Little Jimmy’s toys in the driveway a less viable lie. Kids no longer need to tire themselves out by developing their own imaginations to pass away countless hours of back seat travel; they can watch someone else’s imagination at work via Woody and Buzz in the back of Mum and Dad’s headrests.

And cup holders are a great way to hold a beverage while driving.

Mankind’s greatest accomplishment.
Mankind’s greatest accomplishment.

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Things That Suck: CD Cases.

If ever there was a case that truly justified the overused expression “We can put a man on the moon but we can’t… whatever, this is it.

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t make CD cases that don’t self destruct on contact.

They’re not highly confidential messages from Chief Quimby to Inspector Gadget goddamn it.
They’re not highly confidential messages from Chief Quimby to Inspector Gadget goddamn it.

Since their inception in 198- CD cases have been ass. I’m talking specifically about the “jewel case” which is by far the most common and if you own any CDs at all chances are 98% of them have this design.

Bizarrely, despite their numerous and obvious flaws, there has never been any significant advances in CD case technology. The cases that were first mass produced in the early 80’s are exactly the same as the ones we still use today.

It’s insane.

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Things That Suck: When People Substitute “Then” For “Than.”

This may come as a shock to some, but then and than are completely different words. They also have very different meanings and are not interchangeable. Outrageous!

I realise that these two words have similar spelling. Yep, there is only one letter of difference between them. However that does not mean they mean the same thing…

Different.
Different.

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