It was a day like any other. I was still in Bali trying to do as little as humanly possible while continuing to justify my proclamations of being a writer; the only thing giving my drinking any semblance of legitimacy. Sometimes, like right now, it doesn’t come quite as easily as I wish it did.
I’m not sure if this is because I’m not a very talented writer or because I tend to get distracted by, well, everything. Loud noises, fast movement, beer, shiny things, all seem to want to drag me away from my SERIOUS WRITER BUSINESS.
Continue reading “I Spy With My Little Eye, Something Beginning With “D””
Whist travelling one tends to meet many different people. Many different interesting people. I find this is to be especially true when travelling alone. For me it’s one of the main reasons I flee the mundane repetition of my everyday life and seek alternate horizons/experiences.
Luckily, I’ve been blessed to meet so many epic randoms in my travels: Connor the Highlander; with his Irish drinking powers, Elliot the Brit; master of the wry observation, Kara; German house frau supreme, Agung; The Balinese bar god of mischief, Miss Dynamite; the savvy Canadian volunteer, Reggie; the Rastafarian Jesus from Holland, Oni; the most beautiful waitress in all of Indonesia.
All amazing people that have, in one way or another, left a lasting impression on me.
Occasionally you meet someone who is not very interesting at all; at least not to anyone other than themselves. I met someone like this today.
Continue reading “Jason and The Arguments.”
Here I am sitting in a quiet Balinese warung enjoying a few quiet beers, for a change, when in walk a quartet of pretty young Australian girls and sit directly opposite me like some kind of hyper excitable, reality show judging panel. I honestly kept waiting for them debate my merits amongst themselves…
“Hm, I’m not sure. What do you think?”
“Too odd, too retro. “
“Grunge died 15 years ago. Can’t see you selling, sorry dawg.”
Or something equally truthful and brutal.
From left to right the roll call went like this:
Continue reading “The Sisterhood of the Travelling Angst.”
Every day the same old man attempts to sell me, and anyone else who falls into his pleading buy trap, the same product. And every day he fails to sell his less than indispensable merchandise.
The old man in question has a weary, weathered face befitting his age. He looks at least 80 though he could easily be closer to 142. I’ve always had difficulties accurately gauging a person’s age, females in particular, this has lead to many “interesting” situations.
Continue reading “Ignoreland.”
Here I am sitting in a quiet, rustic Balinese warung for the past hour or so, enjoying a few cheap beers and attempting to write something meaningful or funny; both would be fantastic. And surprising.
Still, my ego is pacified when the waiter says he likes my look, my hair in particular. I understand it’s a pretty severe personality flaw to like/want completely random people’s adulation but spelunking that particular dank cave is a tale for another time.
I suggest to this spritely young chap that he too could have his hair cut into a Mohawk. I continue to ramble on that I had it cut not 500 metres from this very establishment, in a salon owned by a transgendered individual. I claim that she was one of the nicest men I’d ever met.
Goodbye meaningful. Goodbye funny. I mentioned the cheap beers right?
Continue reading “I Believe The Children Are Our Future.”
It was Christmas Eve and I was catching a late flight home after visiting my older brother in the less than mythical city of Brisbane, Australia. The plane had been delayed an hour, an hour I decided to fill by drinking beer in the lounge. Then the plane was delayed again, for another hour. Fine by me I thought, I’ll drink some more beer.
By this time a majority of my fellow passengers were beginning to become frustrated at the plane and its ongoing tardiness but I was having a great time, talking nonsense to the other passengers while making up little back stories about them in my mind…
Continue reading “Baby Did A Bad, Bad Thing.”