I recently saw Lana Del Rey perform live. In concert. And, as promised, there was zero abduction attempts and little to no stalking.
I have thoughts… Continue reading “Lana Del Rey”
What Snapchat thing? This Snapchat thing…
Believe it or not, a reasonable number of peeps actually joined the Only I Stand Here Snapchat account that I created back here.
I can assure you, fair readers, that I’m as shocked as you are.
To these brave souls I say, god bless your cotton socks. You are truly the intrepid pioneers among us and are deserving of all the awe and admiration that such an undertaking warrants.
Finally! After musing about it forever, and procrastinating about it for even longer, Only I Stand Here is now on Snapchat.
Firstly, I have zero idea how this is going to integrate into Only I Stand Here proper. Or how to manage it at all really. So I’m already off to a brilliant start.
Secondly, I also have zero idea if anyone currently reading my nonsense has any inclination to tap into my ongoing misadventures in a real time environment. I’m an acquired taste, I get that. Having me accessible in the palm of your hand at all times may be a bit much. Fair call really.
Thirdly, following The Year of the Chronically Offended that was 2017, it’s now 2018. The Year Reason Died. There’s every single chance that without the benefit of drafts, review, thoughtful contemplation, or any kind of filtering process, I will offend/alienate the few readers I already have. Apologies in advance.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I’m totally intrigued to see what kind of Snaps I get from the masses.
Dick pics I assume. Always dick pics.
So if you’re into endless non sequiturs, impotent raging against the machine, mass confusion regarding societal norms and the occasional thoughtful prose, all while drinking too much, touch the screen and join the fray!
For the same reason I don’t make New Years resolutions I’ve never felt the urge to reflect on my blog at the end of the calendar year.
In both cases it seems so bizarrely arbitrary.
If an individual wishes to reflect on their life or make positive changes to it; kick ass. That’s to be commended. However, ANY TIME IS A GOOD TIME TO DO THIS. The 22nd of July, the 1st of August, the 14th of November or March the goddamn 26th are all equally opportune dates to decide to stop sucking so much.
So I was sitting at a bar, minding my own business, when suddenly a random guy appeared out of nowhere and took the seat immediately to my right. Which I found somewhat peculiar because I was sitting alone in a booth.
He was completely unremarkable in every way and, as I was completely immersed in my drinking/writing, I paid him no mind.
At least I tried to.
It’s 3:00pm on a Saturday afternoon and I find myself sharing a bar with a group of people celebrating their Primary School reunion. Which is apparently a thing people do. They all appear to be in their late 40’s/early 50’s and they’re all completely wrecked. Endless waves of Sambuca shots chased by pints of beer will do that to a person.
Because I’m totes sneaky and am always on the lookout for prime blog fodder I accidentally overhear the following quotes which, without the context of 40 years plus of shared experience, all sound somewhat deranged.
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first, and possibly only, episode of Drunken Snapchat Theatre. A cinematic journey in which your humble narrator watches fantastically terrible films while drinking too much. And Snaps™ it.
After regularly subjecting my friends to this nonsense I thought I’d see how it flies here.
Drunken Snapchat Theatre may contain violence and bloodshed, gratuitous nudity, bad language and glib observations masquerading as humour. You have been warned.
For all of those that haven’t been paying attention, I’m a counsellor and I work at a High School. Recently I was called into a classroom by an English teacher to help deescalate a student from going full ham. Which I was able to do because I’m awesome at my job and speak the language of the voiceless and disenfranchised.
I asked if I could stay in the room, telling the teacher and students I wanted to avoid doing paperwork, but secretly wanting to monitor the student/situation lest shit escalate again. I also wanted to avoid doing paperwork.