Rockmelons II – The Revenge.

Apparently I’ve severely underestimated the allure of rockmelons. Much like the Siren of Greek myth luring an enraptured sailor to his watery grave, the temptation of the rockmelon is seemingly impossible to resist.

According to ABC news:

A Victorian man in his 80s has become the fifth person to die in a listeria outbreak after eating contaminated rockmelons.

I TRIED TO WARN YOU ALL WEEKS AGO! THIS STORY IS IN THE NEWS EVERY DAY! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! THE ROCKMELONS ARE CONTAMINATED! STOP EATING THEM! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!

Death Takes Many Forms
Will you stop your nagging! It’s rockmelons that are dangerous. Cantaloupes are fine!

Countless rockmelons are currently contaminated with listeria. Listeria can kill you. We know this. If you have a weakened immune system or are old/young/pregnant stay away from rockmelons! You know what? Everyone just stay away from rockmelons! At least until this outbreak is quarantined and remedied.

It’s not rocket science! It’s just… science.

Go eat honeydews. They’re the money melon.

 

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