Things That Suck: The Snooze Button.

I don’t use the snooze button. Never have, never will. I set my alarm to go off at the last possible minute to try and choke all the potential sleep out of the nights lungs.

Sleep is rad.

SadButTrue
Me too Ralph, me too.

The snooze button. Whether it’s on your phone, alarm clock or whatever. I just don’t get it. At its absolute base level –  hitting the snooze button means that you’ve set your alarm to go off before you need it to go off. Before you need to get out of bed.

What kind of lunacy is that?

If you have the luxury of pressing a button to ignore the alarm then trying to continue to sleepWhy not set the alarm to go off at the latest possible moment thereby giving yourself a longer duration of uninterrupted sleep?!?

By hitting the snooze button your peaceful slumber is ripped from you multiple times before you’re forced to get out of bed, instead of just once. It’s subscribing to pure masochism.

It’s like arriving at your job before you are contractually and legally expected to be there. Or visiting your family when it’s not someone’s birthday, wedding or funeral. Or leaving a bar before you’ve run out of money. Sure, you can do those things. But why would you?

I mean, hell,  babies are essentially snooze buttons.

Babies cry in the middle of the night all the time. They interrupt you from your sleep. Usually multiple times. All before you need to be awake. Sound familiar?
Now talk to any parent with a newborn. I guarantee you they won’t talk about being woken up before they need to be as a positive…

“I had 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep before I spent the next 6 hours hitting my baby snooze button. It’s great, I like being able to just doze before I have to get up.”

CrudePaintIsCrude
“I’ll take Things That Never Happen for $600 please Alex.”

The absolute worst is when it’s not even your choice to go through the snooze button fallacy.

I once dated a snooze button girl. Every night before every working day she’d set her alarm to go off at 6:00am. Which is fine. Alarms have to go off eventually, that’s kinda their deal. I mean, she didn’t start work until 8:00am… and it was only a 10 minute commute… but I digress. If she wanted to get up earlier than she needed to and have a leisurely breakfast while she watched Season 3 of Sex and The City for the umpteenth time, more power to her.

HashtagTeamAidan
This is gonna be in my browser history forever. The things you do for blog.

But EVERY GODDAMN DAY she’d hit the snooze button. Repeatedly. At minimum, there were at least 3 or 4 instances of a sleep shattering BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP before she actually got out of bed. Which meant, at minimum, I had to hear at least 3 or 4 instances of a sleep shattering BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP before she actually got out of bed.

Ugh. Relationships. They’re basically just tolerating someone else’s insanity so you don’t have to be alone.

I’ve gone off on a tangent, haven’t I?

Essentially what I’m saying is:
1) Hitting the snooze button is self-flagellation of the highest order.
2) Hitting the snooze button repeatedly if you’re sharing your bed is just bad form.
3) Snooze buttons suck.

 

6 thoughts on “Things That Suck: The Snooze Button.

    1. It’s definitely on the list! But, to be completely honest, it’s not at the top. Snooze button malfeasance is well under the “must be an orphan” and “no undiagnosed mental health issues” requirements.

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