Compose New Message.

A few nights ago I met a girl at a bar. Wait! Before you decide that you’ve heard this story before and move on to look at cats doing amusing things, or porn, I can assure you that this tale doesn’t end in some tawdry liaison fueled by booze and happenstance. Nothing so interesting.

Rather, this innocuous meeting has made me question my place in this world. Or, alternatively, my understanding of it.

As I said, I met a girl at a bar. It wasn’t the first time and god willing it won’t be the last.

I’m familiar enough with this particular bar to recognise that she isn’t a regular and through the scientifically proven theorem of {attractive girl sitting by herself x Bourbon6 = conversation} I initiated conversation.

After some exploratory conversation it turned out that she was there at the behest of a mutual acquaintance. Our mutual acquaintance, despite his obvious hidden insecurities, is quite a Casanova. Mostly due to the fact that it’s impossible for him to look bad in photographs.

Before you scream FAG because you can’t deal with people who aren’t exactly the same as you, I think it’s completely natural for a hetero man to recognize the attractiveness of another man. Brad Pitt for instance, is an attractive man. Acknowledging that does not make me less attractive or less of a man. In fact, it may make me more attractive and more of a man. Or it may make me a gay. Your mileage may vary.

Anyway, it turns out this local Lothario had seen this young lasses profile picture on facebook, found it agreeable to his sensual receptors and sent her a friend request. Which she accepted. Then he invited her to a local bar, which she also accepted. All without actually meeting.

Now that weirds me out slightly but that’s not even the meat of the story.

Nor is the fact that though this guy went to the time and effort to cajole this girl into a rendezvous and, once there, he paid her no attention at all. He spent his time dancing and performing a similar cajoling ritual to other random girls who just happened to be there.

I know all this because as he was showing random girls how pretty and shiny his feathers are, this young girl and I struck up a conversation.

I can assure you I had no intent behind the conversation other than the conversation itself. I like meeting new people. Its rad.
Sure, she was cute. Petite, pixie-ish, high cheek bones, blonde bobbed hair, tanned skin. You know, cute. Still, I was simply enjoying conversing with someone new.

She was affable and I kinda felt sorry for her, what with being neglected and all. So we talked. As people do. She talked about her job in retail and her university marketing degree, I talked about Prince and Thundercats.

Because I'm an idiot.
Because I’m an idiot.

After a while I was distracted by something shiny, my focus shifted and I left the conversation to pursue other endevours. Not long after this I noticed her leaving. Being drunk and excitable I randomly shouted out her name and waved good-bye across the bar. She reciprocated my wave and smiled as she made her way out through the out door.

Out door.
Out door.

That was kinda it. Oddly enough, as pleasant as the conversation was, I was content that was the end of it. Not every positive experience must be held onto and suffocated to death by expectation or want. It was purely a pleasant interaction with another person. It’s its own reward.

Besides, slightly attractive, slightly older, slightly drunken men are a dime a dozen to perky young things like her.

So imagine my surprise when I log into facebook the following day and I see a friend request with our ingénue’s smiling face smooshed up alongside three of her best friends faces smiling back at me.

My brain ran through its usual nonsense… “If she accepted a friend request from someone she’d never met before then met up with them at a bar perhaps this is just par for the course.  Hell, we conversed for a fair amount of time and both enjoyed ourselves.”

Cool. Click. Friend request accepted. New Friend. No drama.

I was a little surprised when I logged on a little later and saw a little red  “1″ staring back at me from just below the messages icon. My surprise was pleasantly rewarded when it turned out to be a message from my new friend.

Saturday, 3:33pm
Hey Travis! Hope work wasn’t too painful today! 🙂

For context, during our first interaction we’d talked about how I was less than 7 hours shy of needing to head into work. And I was significantly drunk. I replied with an also benign…

Saturday, 6:28pm
Considering the truly heroic amount of bourbon I consumed; I had no right to feel as good as I do. 😉

Also pretty benign right? And yes, I do write like an obtuse wanker even in fb message form.

The only other thing slightly cringe worthy is the winking smiley. It’s a fucker that one. Does it instantly turn something completely above board into something akin to a come on/flirting?

There’s every chance I’m overthinking it. I do that. But there’s a reason I don’t use it in my professional life. Or with my Ma. “Hey Ma, I’ll be over soon. ;)” Ew, creepy.  It’s just too damn suggestive. Anyway, the reply I received was this…

Sunday, 1:05pm
WELL DONE! I am proud. 🙂

Holy capitals Batman! Also note the use of a less provocative smiley. I assume that this is merely jovial banter. That’s it.

Perhaps that’s naive and in this day and age the sheer act conversation means she wants to hook up. That possibility doesn’t even enter my head so I strike back cordially with…

Sunday, 7:14pm
Thank you! Did you enjoy the rest of your weekend?

I sometimes throw in extraneous exclamation marks to demonstrate affability. I need to stop doing that. Next update…

Sunday, 10:25pm
Hello I’m so sorry for the late reply. I’m one of those people that always has something happening! I had such a good weekend 🙂 one of the best. How about yourself?

Again, just normal pointless conversation between two adults right?

Monday, 8:16pm
No apologies necessary. As you can tell, I’m one of those people too. I’m happy to hear it. Mine was pretty rad too. I like getting out there and meeting new people.

I’m not sure if the time elapsed had anything to do with it but this was met with….

Message not sent.

I noticed her profile picture had reverted to a blank silhouette and her name had been changed to facebook user. All before this admittedly quasi-retarded response ever had the chance to be seen.

After a quick google I discovered that this was either because: a) she has deleted her account; or b) blocked me.


Both of these possibilities raise a metric ton of questions. Well, three.

Why would you delete your account after the best weekend ever?
Why would you block someone you requested as a friend less than a week ago and happily/actively engaged with?
Do I simply not understand how social interactions work anymore?

Author: Travis Nevers

Just another random blogger trying to make his way in this crazy world we all share. Sometimes insightful, sometimes not... Read along at home!


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