I woke up Saturday morning, always a excellent way to begin the day, and after checking my emails/facebook I thought: “I guess I’ll check my blog.”
I had posted a tale on Thursday and thought it may have couple of views. Or perhaps, if I was lucky, an adventurous soul may have stumbled down the rabbit hole, liked what they read, and decided to follow my further adventures.
Views in the thousands? Triple figure “likes”? Dozens of new followers?
I was equal parts “Surely this must be a mistake” and “Finally my genius is being recognised. Mwahahaha!” I was overwhelmed and wasn’t sure what to think/do, which isn’t unusual and is essentially my standard way of dealing with anything unexpected.
There were also dozens of new people sharing their fresh exciting thoughts on what my writing elicited for them. Some stating that they’d enjoyed reading it, others relating similar tales of woe, peeps suggesting that I have a knack for this writing thing. Mind-blowing.
Many congratulated me on being FP’d.
“FP’d?” I thought, “That doesn’t sound wholesome.”
After briefly researching the term, and discounting all manner of sexual explanation, I discovered that it meant I had been chosen amongst the many to be FRESHLY PRESSED.
Now, I realise that posting a picture of my previous post featured on the freshly pressed page of WordPress in my current post is kinda like masturbating to naked pictures of myself. Yet here we are.
Suitably excited by this new discovery I tried explaining this sudden influx of interest to my less than technologically savvy mother. The call went something like this.*
“Ma! I was just freshly pressed!”
My mother, being fiercely proud, feigns understanding.
“That’s great son!” I could almost hear her mind running through, and simultaneously dismissing, a million potential possibilities of what my explosively bizarre announcement may mean.
“You have no idea what that means do you Ma?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“No son. No I don’t.” She’s brutally honest. A trait I admire.
“It means hundreds of people from all over the world are reading something I’ve written! By choice! Some of them even like it!”
“Well, that is fantastic. Do you get paid?” She’s also hyper practical.
“Er, no… But I brought a fleeting moment of joy into complete stranger’s lives by telling a story. That’s pretty rad?”
“So how do people make all that money on the internet?” And irreverently curious.
“By selling… by making…” I trail off, realising I don’t actually know what I’m talking about. “Princely Nigerian Scams? I don’t know Ma.”
“By blogs?” She asks, seemingly innocently.
“No Ma. Not by blogs.”
“Oh well, still, well done son. I’m proud of you. I think you get that storytelling gene from me. My friends always tell me I’m a great storyteller. So what did you write about?”
“Um, I wrote about the time I, ah, was busted checking out an attractive girl in Bali. By her father…”
“Hmm. You know your brother just bought a new car?”
Thank you for the opportunity to have that conversation WordPress overlords.
Also, mega thank you to all that passed through my corner of the internet and followed/commented/liked. To those that chose to stick around, I hope you enjoy the ride.