Eat Pray Move

Amid the chaos of Bali’s roads – between the vast swarms of motorbikes, the ownerless dogs lingering on the roads fringe, the incomprehensible signage, the oft confusion of an anarchic system, the less than stellar condition of the roads themselves…

There comes a new menace. Breeding in numbers even as we speak…

Eat/Pray/Love girls; or “Julias.”

Now reaching plague like proportions on this tiny island paradise, these western women straddle the centre of Bali’s labyrinthine roads as if it was theirs and theirs alone. They slalom listlessly from one side to the other; completely oblivious to the chaos that surrounds them. Or that they themselves cause.

EXACTLY LIKE THIS! (Thanks Google image search.)

One way streets are no match for the might of the Julias as they unthinkingly pedal themselves toward oncoming traffic. Their hair flowing freely, forever unencumbered by a protective layer of helmet, personal safety be damned. Their flagrant disregard for any motorists sharing the road knows no bounds.

It’s as if they believe that through abandoning any road etiquette and deliberately emulating a pandering book, or an equally pandering movie, they may reach some form of spiritual enlightenment.

Make no mistake; unless something is done to stop the spread of this new age infestation the island as we know it could be overcome by women on bicycles. With no road savvy.

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